Yesterday I dyed my hair for the first time because it was gray. In the past, I had experimented with brassy blonde streaks and ombrés – but it was all for fun. This time, I really wanted to get rid of the gray! Even though the restroom door was more painted than my hair itself, and the mess I made mixing the color, the hair looked more reasonable. Not my head.
I started to think about my daughter Teresa and her desperate desire to be older. I was like that too: I wanted to be older to lose my teeth, to use my mother’s clothing, I wanted to be 18 so I can finally drive, and wanted so bad to be 25, with a job to live by myself. But some point, all wasn’t exactly what I was expecting and from this time ahead, I just wanted to be younger again.
I spent a lot of time searching for answers g in my mind when this change happened but I couldn’t find the exact turning point. But I got the why. In some point in our lives, we are met with promises of “You can do everything you want when you’ll be older!”, In fact, it’s sort of illusion. Then it’s inevitable to revert in the time, to stay “forever young”.
I don’t know about you, mother of girls, but I live in this huge conflict. Teresa sees me doing my make-up and asks me why I do it. I don’t want to say it’s to hide the wrinkles or the imperfections, so I say it’s to get more beautiful. But as soon as the words leave my mouth, I feel this regret because I don’t want her desiring to be older to do her makeup, to feel more beautiful,I want her to know she is already gorgeous, but I’m showing totally the opposite of that.
I remember when I saw the picture in the post made by Sebastião Salgado, around 20 years ago. I believe it was around this time I gave it up the desire to be old, because I looked at it and said: “She needs some Ponds.”
Looking this picture now, I think the Ponds concept somehow got into our minds, our society. We look at Gen Z and Millennials with jealousy, and everything that came before with some embarrassment.
Then, suddenly, I started to see this wonderful movement of women who are accepting their grays, and how they keep looking beautiful. My dearests, keep in mind you’re giving me this big hope that not only my restroom door will be safe of my mess, but also myself – I will be safe from all this stupidity. My apologies I didn’t get there yet, but thank you, thank you very much for the service you’re doing for the future.
PS: If you never have seen Sebastião Salgado’s work, please do yourself a favor and access it: You will get why.