When You Aren’t Enough

It isn’t rare I have this feeling that I can’t offer any more than who I am. Life can be very demanding and I couldn’t explain it to other people until I met this picture – “Seated Male Nude”, 1910- you see in the post. It was a sort of surprise you can have when you go to visit someone and discover someone else very interesting too.

We went to Austria to finally see Gustav Klimt’s works in person and suddenly met Egon Schiele. His work is a punch in the belly. Worse: It’s a MMA fight with a fighter that knows all the kind of martial arts.

This picture I can tell, it was (and still is) me there. I just feel that sometimes you get stuck in a place that you can’t offer other than an incomplete body like in the picture: half arms and legs, and a wasted and depressed sex. We lost the track between what we can and what we think we can do. Then you think, “I can handle it” and you repeat it so much to yourself that this lie starts to become a true despite the reality. We first convince ourselves then the others get automatically convinced —and suddenly we get trapped.

You’re probably going to say “I’m not like that. I know my limits”. Cheers to you. But I’m sure you feel weak when you say “no, I can’t”.

I’ve been learning to say it – we already are so used to listen… It’s very difficult but essential. The “no” thing shouldn’t be synonym of weakness but strength, self-knowledge, your limits. I know it goes against the society, but I truly don’t believe on this “No limits” life advertisement. Yes, we have limits. Yes, we can stop and say I can’t do it anymore. We have this right to give up and discover another direction.

I’m just tired of seeing people giving too much (and myself included). We need to respect ourselves. We need to understand that act of living itself is losing yourself by few until the day you find that you can’t offer anymore.  But it doesn’t mean you must give the whole picture right now, you can have a saving account on yourself. No is a free word here, for the best of the nation.

PS: The Leopold Museum  is the official home of Schiele and Klimt but also a lot of not-so-famous Austrian artists who deserve to be known. The work of the two principal is really sensational and is quite complete there. For the visit, I suggest to bring milk chocolate, because the theme, especially Schiele's, is quite bitter …

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Bocetos, versiones, fragmentos de realidad · Textos por: Andrés Gómez O

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