Finding Meaning

A long time ago, I was speaking with friends about this short video (“From the window of my room”) made by another friend, the Brazilian filmmaker Cao Guimarães

Everyone was giving their point of view in a very academic way: the angle, the elements, the girl/boy personalizing women/men roles in society, the horse opening the scene to introduce the animalization of human being…  then someone asked if or why it impacted me and I said because it reminded my childhood.

I could feel my friends’ surprise, but everything in the video was really close of me as a little girl.  Playing in the rain, fight with older kids, the freedom of just being yourself, trying without judging yourself, being naked from inside as beast, as an animal. 

I probably was missing this feeling on that time we watched the video. I was so attached to look smart all the time, that I was missing that free girl. I remember being deeply touched by it. It was when I had that “lightbulb” moment.. It was when I discovered how I have been relating with art since I was a kid.

I came from a very regular family. We didn’t have trips to great museums and we really didn’t talk about it at home. My grandfather was the closest example of an artist that I had, and I was lucky, because while he didn’t know history of the art, he was an self-taught guy who picked masters of paintings to reproduce by hobby.

I strongly think that probably was the reason I started feeling art as part of my life. It was simple: I adored my grandpa so I started to adore art too. Yes, I adore art as a family member, who you talk about and a very close way.

It took this long to realize it would be nice to share this experience with others. Especially  when I talk about Cao Guimaraes’ video with my friends, I felt very shy to confess it. But I realized they clicked with it too.

So if you are here to search something smart to tell to your smart friends, this isn’t the place. I’ve studied history of art, theology, psychoanalysis, semiotic, philosophy and literature, but I really master on my own experiences and that’s what this is all about. You probably will find some embarrassing connections with art here (and be sure I’m writing them quite embarrassed too). But this is my true relationship with art and relationship generally aren’t perfect – I’m sure you have any imperfect relationship with it hidden in somewhere too.  

Here is the video

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Bocetos, versiones, fragmentos de realidad · Textos por: Andrés Gómez O

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